What Should Be Never Is
by MirrorImageOfHer
Summary: Sequel to Sophia St. Laurent. It's fourteen years since everybody's gotten together, if only it were under better circumstances. Sophia can't rid her mind of what she did and the people who aren't there.
1. Doesn't Matter

Rain poured down and a cloaked figure made it's way towards the house. It was pitch black outside and the rain only made it that much harder to see. As her destination was revealed to her, she smiled. _Finally_.

As the door opened, she lowered her hood, releasing a waterfall of blonde hair. She walked deeper into the house, smiling to see a figure sitting on a sofa, reading a book.

"Remus," she whispered.

He jumped up. He closed his eyes briefly. "I wasn't expecting you till morning."

"Change in plans," she smiled.

Remus looked at his feet. "He's in the kitchen."

She started to move to the area he had directed, but she stopped. "Thank you, Remus, letting me do this."

"I had nothing to do with it," he said truthfully. "It was all Dumbledore."

She smiled and headed down the few steps into the kitchen. There was the person she had been waiting to see, leaning against the counter, puffing smoke out of a cracked window.

"I thought you quit," she teased.

His head snapped up at the sound of that voice. "Sophia?"

She laughed as he ran and scooped her up in a tight hug. "What are you doing here?"

She pulled back, "You aren't mad?"

"A little. Remus has been through hell, but you're here and that's all that matters."

Sophia gave a small smile. "I know. I know that you've seen Harry."

"I've seen him. He's great, Sophia, just like James."

Sophia bit her lip. "Well, that's why I'm here. I'm here to meet my godson. I'm afraid, though, that he may not want to meet me."

"Why wouldn't he want to meet you?" Sirius asked.

"He'll wonder why he didn't live with me. Once I tell him I ran away, then he'll call me a coward. What if he just doesn't like me?"

"There's no way that he couldn't like you. You were his parents' best friend. He took to Remus. He took to me. He'll take to you. Though, I ought to warn you that he's coming tomorrow."

Sophia's eyes widen. "You're joking, that's so soon. That's, too soon."

The clock struck two in the morning. "Go get some rest, Soph. You need it."

Letting out an unwillingly yawn, Sophia agreed. Sirius led her up to a bedroom and said goodnight. As he walked back down the stairs, Remus was still on the sofa.

"Are you alright? With all this?" Sirius asked.

"I've lived without Sophia for fourteen years," was his only reply.

"But seeing her, doesn't it make you want to be with her. I mean, face it mate, she looks really good. Not that much different from when we were young."

"Her hair's shorter," Remus mumbled.

"See! You noticed things like that. Are you really going to try to convince yourself that you don't want her?" Sirius urged.

Remus closed his book and stood up. "It doesn't matter what I want. It's never mattered what I wanted. It doesn't matter that I loved her. It doesn't matter that she was my first love. It doesn't matter that I was willing to give her everything, even if I didn't have it. It doesn't matter that I wanted to be with her forever. It doesn't matter that seeing her now puts me it so much pain. When you're in love, it doesn't always matter what you want." Remus started to climb the stairs. "Goodnight, Sirius."

A/N: Eek! Well, welcome to the knew story, it'll get better as time goes on, I promise.


	2. I'm Here Now

Sophia woke to light peaking from behind the curtains. The light allowed her to see all the little dust particles floating through the air. Molly was right in thinking that Sirius' old family home needed to be thoroughly cleaned from top to bottom. Before now, Sophia had never been in Number 12 Grimmauld Place, but as she walked down the stairs she could easily see the Black taste in décor.

Very, very, pureblood.

Sophia, being a pureblood herself, had often seen similar taste amongst her parents friends. The stairs creaked underneath her weight and she managed her way down to the kitchen. Molly Weasley (who hadn't seen Sophia upon her arrival) stood, cooking some sort of soup. The Weasley family, Sirius, Remus and a young girl sat at a long kitchen table.

"Kingsley and Tonks will be here soon," Sirius told Arthur.

"Kingsley, I haven't seen him in ages," Sophia said, sliding in next to Sirius and helping herself to some toast. "I'm afraid I don't know most of the people here."

"Well, we'll get you acquainted, dear," Molly told her. "My twins, Fred and George, then there's Ron, and Ginny of course (Ginny had just entered the room) and Hermione Granger."

Hermione smiled politely.

"What about your older sons, Molly, are they in the Order?" Sophia asked.

"Yes, yes. Bill and Charlie, yes." she hustled around a bit.

There was a small clatter in the hall (but not loud enough to wake up Sirius' mum) and a louder call of, "Bugger!"

"Tonks is here," Sirius said nonchalantly, reaching for the Prophet.

"Awfully strange name," Sophia whispered.

"Her last name," Remus explained.

"And her first?"

"Nymphadora."

"What did I say about using that name?" A woman, considerably younger than Sophia, with bright pink hair walked in, Kingsley next to her.

"Sophia St. Laurent. Long time no see," he smiled.

Sophia stood and hugged him, "Well, yes, Paris has kept me in it's clutches."

"So that's where you've been all this time? Here I thought you were right under our noses!"

"Is she new?" Tonks asked Remus, loud enough for everyone to here.

"She was part of the original Order," Remus said proudly. "We both were."

"Do you know each other, then?" she asked gently.

Sirius snorted. "Yeah, you could say that all right."

Sophia kicked him under the table. Hard.

"Bloody hell Sophia, was that necessary!"

Sophia just glared at him.

"I don't mean to sound rude, but who exactly are you?" Ron asked.

"Ron!" Molly scolded.

"It's fine, Molly. I'm Sophia St. Laurent, I'm Remus' wife."

Tonks jaw dropped. "You're married!" she cried out.

"Technically, yes."

"How can you be 'technically' married?" she screeched.

"I don't understand why this is upsetting you," Remus started. "I haven't seen Sophia for almost fourteen years now."

Sophia stood up and went to leave the room.

"Soph," Remus called.

"I'm not going to do this right now, Remus. I think I'll spare us both the humiliation. If you don't mind, I'm going back to bed. Wake me up before the meeting starts."

Sophia ran up the stairs and slammed her door shut. She hadn't imagined it would be this hard seeing him again. She thought she'd be okay, but she obviously wasn't.

She heard a soft knock on the door, "Go away," she grumbled, but the door opened anyway. Sirius poked his head in.

"Talk to me."

"I'd rather not."

Sirius sat down next to her on the bed. "Why did you leave, Soph?"

She shook her head and folded her arms. "I can't-"

"Can't what?"

"I don't know why I left. It was either leave or kill myself. Everything was falling apart, Sirius, everyone I loved was gone."

"You still had Remus," he wrapped an arm around her. "It shattered him when you left. It was horrible."

"I know. I know. I'm here now, and I'm going to try and make this better."


	3. Pictures of The Past

Sophia was very distant the entire way through the meeting, until she heard her name.

"I'd like to introduce you to the newest member of the Order," Dumbledore announced. "Sophia-"

"Lupin. Sophia Lupin. I was a member of the original Order, if some of you remember," she whispered.

Sirius placed his hand on top of hers. "She came all the way from Paris and will be living here."

"She'll be a useful asset," Dumbledore explained.

"And why's that?" Moody growled.

Sophia smiled sickly sweet at him. "Don't you remember? I'm good at getting what I want. I know how to play the game, but more importantly, I know how to win."

Sirius looked up and smiled, but before Sophia could see what he was smiling at, Molly stepped in front of the door, then closed it.

"He's here," he whispered to her.

Sophia bit her lip and nodded slightly. When the meeting was dismissed some people shuffled out to brave the night while others stayed for the meal Molly had prepared. There was some noise from the hall and Sirius looked at Sophia.

"Will you be alright?" he asked, smoothing her hair.

Sophia nodded.

"Harry," Sirius greeted, and the two hugged.

Sophia watched with saddened eyes, Remus stood against the door frame watching her.

"Harry, I'd like you to meet a friend of ours, Sophia," Sirius gestured to the woman. For some reason, she looked familiar to Harry, like someone from a dream.

"Have I met you before?" he asked.

Sophia glanced down. "Perhaps."

"Alright, sit down and eat!" Molly called.

Sirius was nearly impaled by a fork, nearly scalded by hot soup, but the meal passed with minimal injuries. The topic of the Ministry and how they were going against not only Dumbledore, but Harry as well.

"It's rather pathetic, going after a boy of fifteen, and attacking him like that," Sophia sighed.

"You-you believe him, then?" Hermione asked in a hushed voice.

"I don't believe there's a single person in the Order that doesn't believe Harry."

After dinner Sirius called Harry into a room, to speak with him. Sitting on a small chair was Sophia, holding a book on her lap.

"Harry," she whispered.

"Sirius?" he looked to his godfather expectantly.

"Sit, Harry," spoke Remus who had just entered the room.

"You asked if we had met before," Sophia started. "We have. I'm afraid you were far too young to remember though." She handed him the book. "Open it."

Harry opened the cover, and looked at the first photograph, which was a picture of a group of people taken at a party. Amongst them he recognized his parents, and what appeared to be younger versions of the people in the room.

"You-you knew my parents?" Harry asked.

"Not only did I know them, but they were my closest and dearest friends. Keep looking."

There were pictures of Hogwarts, of Lily and James, the Marauders. Harry noticed that none of the pictures were moving. "Were these taken with a Muggle camera?"

Sophia nodded. "A gift from Remus."

Harry flipped the page, a picture of Remus and Sophia sitting under a tree, Remus reading a book, Sophia's head resting on his chest. Next came pictures of his parents' wedding. Then, Remus and Sophia's wedding.

"You two-are married?" Harry knitted his eyebrows together in confusion.

Sophia bit her lip. Remus looked away. "You still have those pictures?" he asked, voice raw.

"Nothing can destroy those pictures."

"But, who's this woman with Sirius in all these pictures?"

This time, it was Sirius who looked away. Sophia looked up at him, asking with her eyes for permission to tell him.

"That's Bethan. A friend of your mother and a friend of mine. She was, Sirius' girlfriend."

"She died." Sirius whispered. "A long time ago."

"She was in the original Order as well."

When the book came to a close Harry gave it back to Sophia. She traced the little flower pattern on the cover. "Thank you," he whispered and got up.

"It's not over, Harry," Sophia called. "The story isn't over."

Harry looked at her.

"Sirius is your godfather, you know. But, haven't you ever wondered if you have a godmother?" she challenged him.

"What do you mean?"

"This is Sophia's twisted way-"

"Shut up, Remus. Harry, right after you were born, Lily and James pulled Sirius and I aside, and asked us to be your godparents. Meaning, I was, and am very much still, your godmother."


End file.
